


Don't Let Me Go

by emilymarie (emilymarie9898)



Series: Random Kpop One Shots [1]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-15 20:27:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18676837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilymarie9898/pseuds/emilymarie
Summary: Whenever things can go wrong, they usually do





	Don't Let Me Go

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

 

Everything was perfect. The background was full of colorful butterflies, a blanket on fresh, green grass and, him. Finally, spring had come to us.

Except everything was not perfect. Everything was simply an illusion.

I was dying, the irony of the season just hitting me in the face. I glanced at Sungjin, the only thing in my life that has consistently given me joy. He was staring up at the sky as the clouds floated by. Cherry blossoms floated down from the trees and fell all around us.

It honestly felt like I was in a fairytale and if this cancer thing wasn’t something I was so painfully aware of, maybe I would’ve believed that it really was.

“What are you thinking about?”

Sungjin swept his eyes over to me, his eyes crinkling as his mouth morphed into a giant grin. The type of grin that came right before he said something impossibly lame. “You.”

I shoved his shoulder weakly and laughed, “You’re such a dork.”

He pulled me against his chest into a hug, “But it’s true. I was thinking about how happy you make me and how I’m so grateful to have you in my life.”

We were laying down now, my head resting on his chest. I could feel his heart beating through his shirt. Just the steady beat comforted me like it was any other day. “Sungjin, what would you do if I wasn’t around anymore?”

He ran a hand down my hair and sighed, “I’d be very sad without you. I don’t know if I’d ever be able to find someone like you again.”

“But you’d be okay, right?”

“Do you need to tell me something?”

I grew silent and traced figure eights on his shirt, desperately trying to ease the growing tightness in my throat. But it wouldn’t go away. No, it just got so much worse. One drop slipped from my eye and landed on his shirt, instantly alerting him. He sat up and pulled me into a tight hug, my body now shaking with tears.

I held him closer and smothered my face against his shoulder. We sat like that until my breathing evened out again. Sungjin pulled away and held my face in his hands, “Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m dying, Sungjin.”

His whole body dropped but he managed to whimper out a small, “What?” Before he completely collapsed into tears. I held him close and cried with him but not nearly as hard as he did. He gripped my shirt and looked up at me with the most broken expression I’ve ever seen. “Why?”

“I have cancer and I can’t get the treatment.”

He sniffled, “What do you mean you can’t get the treatment?”

“I can’t pay for it and it might not even work. Sungjin, I can’t put my family in debt if I don’t even know if I’ll live.”

“I’ll pay for it then.”

I shook my head, “Sungjin, it’s too much.”

“Losing you without even trying to save you would be too much.” He picked up my hands and held them in his, “Let me help you with this. I can afford it, you know I can.”

“I don’t know, Sungjin.”

“Please, just,” his voice broke, “Just let me try to save you.”

I dropped my head and muttered, “I don’t want to die.” I peeked at a hopeful Sungjin and nodded slightly, “You’ll stick by me the entire time, right?”

He wrapped his arms around me, “Of course I will.”

 

─── ⋅◈⋅ ───

 

The first round of chemo left me drained. I knew it was hard but nothing can prepare you for just how hard it really is.

But Sungjin stayed by my side, true to his word, as much as he could. And he brought me so much joy, it really made this whole experience so much easier.

But I was still fearful. My doctors were hopeful that this would work and that one day I could lead a normal life again. But they also informed me that there was still a chance. A small but real chance that this would only briefly delay my death.

And it was that thought that stayed in my mind. The guilt of possibly wasting all of this money just to die anyway. Just to leave Sungjin, broken and broke.

I always asked if he still wanted to help me fight this and every time I got the same answer.

“I love you, of course, I still want to help you.” He would kiss my forehead and hug me before adding, “I’m not giving up without a good fight and I hope you’ll do the same.”

And just hearing that reassured me. It helped me push through the hard moments and come out stronger. I had my family behind me but more importantly, I had Sungjin. And Sungjin was enough to keep me fighting.

 

─── ⋅◈⋅ ───

 

But fighting is getting harder. Harder than ever before.

I thought that the later treatments would be easier but all I want is for it to be over. I’m exhausted. Just being alive seems like too much effort. I want to give up so desperately but then I see Sungjin and I remember that I’m doing this for him.

He doesn’t deserve to see me die like this. He doesn’t deserve to see me die at all.

But I couldn’t help it when I fell ill.

It’s a known side effect of chemotherapy. Your immune system is weakened and because of that, you need to be extra careful around sick people. But when you’re in a hospital, it can be difficult.

It started with me just feeling worse than usual. I slept the entire day, which didn't seem that unusual for a cancer patient. But I would’ve stayed asleep forever had a nurse not decided to check my temperature.

And that’s how we found out I had a fever reaching 104°F. Which meant something needed to be done immediately.

I felt an icy cold hand on my arm jolt me awake. Everything was fuzzy and I was confused as I felt the bed move around me. I saw blurs of people rushing around the room. There was a faint mumble from people around me, but nothing made sense. I felt like I was trapped in a bubble, floating in my own head as things happened all around me.

The blurry images and muffled sounds shut off in an instant, leaving me in a large expanse of nothingness.

I started to walk but I quickly realized that nothing was changing. So I sat on the ground and waited. For what? I don’t know. But I just waited until something felt right.

“Is it hard?”

I straightened my back and look around for the voice, “Is what hard?”

A ghostly being sat before me and held out her hand for me to take. “Having cancer. Are you having a difficult time?”

Her presence comforted me so I took her hand in mine. I sighed and nodded, “I’m tired.”

“Do you want to give up?”

I paused, did I want to give up? My immediate reaction is to say yes but did I really want to? Does it even matter if I want to?

She rubbed my hand and smiled, “You just can’t see into the future and you’re scared. You’re scared that this will all have been useless so you think giving up now makes more sense.”

“How do you know that?” My voice broke and only then did I feel the tears slipping down my cheeks.

“I know everything.” She stood up and pulled me up with her, “I know you’re scared right now. Terrified even. But it will be worth it. Sungjin is worth it.”

“How can you be so sure when I’m so doubtful?”

She ran her hand through my hair with a smile, “Because I know all and I know how everything is going to turn out for you.” She set her hands on my shoulders and stared at me straight on, “It is not your time. We can talk more when it is but that is not for a very long time. Now, go back and tell Sungjin how you feel. Rely on him, he’s a good one.”

I blinked my eyes slowly, confused but at the same time I completely understood her. With each blink. she disappeared and the blackness that once filled my vision faded back into my hospital room. I looked to my side and saw Sungjin, passed out with a loose grasp on my hand. I couldn’t speak due to a tube sitting in my throat and I still felt too weak to move my fingers.

A nurse quietly came in and saw me with my eyes open. She smiled and rushed back out of the room, returning with my doctor.

After a few questions and some checking, the tube was successfully removed leaving me with a dry throat. A couple more questions and I was left alone to talk with Sungjin.

“Hi,” I finally spoke, my voice noticeably hoarse.

His head lifted and our eyes finally connected. His eyes were red and puffy. Even his nose was red. He held my hand tighter and finally cracked a smile, “You came back to me.”

I nodded and brought my hand up to his face, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” He cried. “I was so scared that I was going to lose you. Everything happened so quickly, I thought that you had finally given up. That maybe this was all just way too much for you to handle.” He sniffled and kissed my knuckles, “But you’re here. You’re really here and so am I and I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

I smiled as a tear slipped down my face, “You really can’t get rid of me now. It’s part of the contract.”

“Oh?”

I nodded, “If one almost dies, then you are fated to stay together forever. Sorry about that, I don’t make the rules.”

He laughed and with a shrug of his shoulders he said, “I guess I can deal with that.”

 

─── ⋅◈⋅ ───

 

It's been four years since the day I almost died and three years since I was finally deemed cancer free. It was a hard battle but after that day, I had a newfound hope. I never told anyone about what I saw that day, I was scared someone would think I was crazy. But I thought about that conversation a lot when I felt like things were becoming too difficult again.

Sungjin helped me so much back then and I will be eternally grateful. He saw me at my absolute worse and I think he loves me more now than he ever has before. And I know that I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone else.

It was spring again, just as beautiful as it was the day I told Sungjin about my cancer. But it really did feel like a fairytale this time.

I smiled at Sungjin as he sat down next to me. “What is it?” He laughed, pulling out a small tub from his lunch box.

I shrugged and leaned my head on his shoulder, “I was just thinking about how much I love you.”

“Really?” I nodded, “I was thinking about how much I love you too.”

I laughed, “This is so lame.”

“I can make it even better.”

I moved my head away from him as he took both my hands in his, “What is this all about?”

“I have loved you ever since we started to date. You make my life better, even when you make fun of me. You’re beautiful, inside and out, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life.” I felt a hard ball forming in the back of my throat as he reached into the tub and pulled out a ring. “You remember the contract? About how I can’t get rid of you now? I thought the ring would make for a nice touch.”

I laughed, my eyes brimming with tears, “You remembered that?” He nodded. I looked down at the ring and then back up at him, “So… marriage?”

“If you want.”

“Yes. Of course, that’s what I want.” He gently slid the ring onto my finger and pulled me into his chest. “I love you.”

“I love you more and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

We sat in the park for a while afterward, staring up at the clouds as people milled about. We were both lost in our thoughts, too clouded in the overwhelming joy to make any sense to each other.

I felt myself smiling up at the sky, remembering her. I hope she’s happy to see that I got here. I hope she proud of me for holding onto to Sungjin.

I squeezed Sungjin and he looked down at me. I just shrugged, “I’m happy.”

“Me too.”

 

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

**Author's Note:**

> I hope the lack of a name for the main character wasn't weird to read. Hopefully, you didn't even notice! It just kind of happened and I didn't feel like changing it. Plus picking out a nice name is annoying.


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